Grief doesn’t heal the way a wound does, it leaves scars. Research confirms that heartbreak causes real physical pain, not just emotional suffering. The healthiest path forward isn’t healing but coping with grief, loss, pain and trauma; moving through the pain one day at a time until life becomes bearable, then meaningful, then beautiful again. Coping is not a consolation prize. It’s everything.
Maybe it’s just me, but when tragedy strikes and I hear people talk about “healing,” something in me thinks — that’s not quite right.
You can heal a body. But even then, there are scars.
Healing a broken heart? A devastated soul? That’s a different story entirely. And we now know it’s not just emotional, a broken heart is physically painful. Grief lives in the body. It hurts in ways that are measurable and real.
The only way through it is to go through it. There are no shortcuts. You have to do the time, until the edges feel a little less ragged, until more meaningful moments can come into view, until life doesn’t feel quite so obliterated.
You keep going. One day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time, until the sun comes up and a couple of flowers bloom and a butterfly zips past you and somewhere in the back of your mind you think… huh. That was nice.
Is that hope? Maybe. Don’t analyze it. Just let it be.
But don’t call it healing. You can’t rewind life no matter how many times you hit that button. What you can do is give yourself enormous credit for coping with grief and loss, for keeping going until you can breathe again. Until you can live again.
That’s not a small thing. That’s everything. And if the weight of it feels like more than you can carry alone, trauma recovery support and mental health support exist for exactly this reason, reaching for them isn’t giving up. It’s part of coping with loss well.
Building a stronger you, one day at a time, Dr. Claudia
As a clinical psychologist who has worked with families facing grief, trauma, and depression, I’ve seen how resilience takes shape over time. Truth is, there are no shortcuts. But with the right support and trustworthy resources for coping, you can move forward.
Our Parenting Pointers touch on how families can support children through trauma or emotional stress in life. For more real-world stories, many of our All Things Family radio conversations tackled grief, resilience, and the complicated journey of moving forward.
For additional help, organizations like the National Alliance for Children’s Grief and Mayo Clinic’s grief resources offer evidence-based support and practical strategies.
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